Give of what you've got, not of what is routine

I find it ironic that I have never felt like I needed a lesson on generosity, especially at Christmastime, but today as I was reading through the book of Acts, I came across some old familiar verses that are a part of a familiar story, and they came to me in a different light than when I heard them in the past. Growing up in church, I have become very familiar with the story of Peter healing the crippled beggar in chapter three of Acts, but what stands out today that I haven't really paid attention to before is this in verse six: "...silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you..." This is where my story ends here today.

My story begins a few years ago when I stopped carrying cash in my wallet. I did this because we used to go line dancing in downtown Nashville several nights each week. If you've been to downtown Nashville, you know that you can't walk twenty feet without someone begging for money, cigarettes, booze, food, or something. I grew weary of being asked for money, etc. after the first week and decided that rather than lie and say I don't have any money on me, I would just be sure I didn't carry any cash anymore and be able to tell the truth when I said that I don't have cash. It was uncomfortable at first telling people obviously in need that I didn't have the means to help them, but as my heart grew more callous, it was easy to transition to saying something like, "I'm sorry, but I don't have any cash on me, I wish I could help you!" I actually would say things like that so I sounded like I would have helped had I brought cash with me! My desire to manipulate the situation to prevent lying had progressed to, you guessed it, lying yet again. Through this I realized it wasn't the lying I wanted to prevent in the first place, but it was my lack of desire to give that I wanted to conceal. Therein lies the problem: I thought I didn't have anything to give because I didn't have the money to give, but did that mean I didn't have anything to give? Do I have a voice? Well, yes. Do I have time in a day? Yes, well, not those nights though...right? I had the need to line dance...wasn't that more important? Not so much...but wait, aren't those people there just scamming people or wanting money to buy alcohol or drugs? The real question is: does that matter? No and yes. No, because I'm called to give and the recipient is responsible for what the gift is used for. And yes as well, because some of them actually do scam people to get money for alcohol...so, what then do I give? I give the same thing Peter gave in verse six: whatever I have. Which brings us back to where my story ended. What do I have? Well, for starters (as of recently) I have a desire to give. I also have some money set aside to be used to help people who need help, but I should use that money wisely, so with that money I have time and a voice for conversation. So this is what I challenge myself with for starters: take time and spend it with someone in need, use the money to take care of what they need, what they are asking me for when I walk down the street, a meal, a cup of coffee, or something, and just spend time with that person. That takes care of a need without giving money away and not knowing what it is being used for. I'm giving what I have, the biggest of which is my time. I don't necessarily have to heal a crippled man to make a difference (although that would be pretty  much awesome to be a part of), I just have to offer myself to serve those who can't serve themselves. So not just because it is Christmastime, but because it is the right thing to do. Serve someone a big helping of whatever you have. If it is money, praise God! If it is not, praise God as well! Make a difference in this world, and whatever you have to give, give it, even if it is unconventional! Bless someone with your life, not just this season, but any chance you get!

You can't wait for Heaven?....well, I can.

I know, I know, the title itself lends this post to skeptic speculation about irreverence or a self-fulfilling lifestyle, but read a little further, I promise it's not what you think...or maybe it is?

Lots of people "cannot wait" to get to Heaven, to live there forever with our Lord, face to face with our Savior, Jesus Christ, and while on the surface it sounds all well and good, and it's something to say at the end of a great worship service at church, I on the other hand can, in fact, wait to get to Heaven. Now, before you start lighting torches and getting your pitchforks ready to come get me, hear me out. It's nothing selfish or irreverent, but there is so little time to do what we are called to do here on Earth, and there is an eternity to enjoy our reward for living our calling. We oftentimes focus too much on getting there and not enough on what we are needing to do here now. By focusing on the eternity ahead rather than the here-and-now, what are we missing, more importantly, who are we missing out on serving? How much energy are we putting into wondering about, thinking, dreaming, or speculating, even debating about what Heaven is like, and how the world may end? How much are we focusing on what we truly do not know much (if anything for certain) about, other than the fact that if we are believers we will be there one day? Don't get me wrong, I am not saying do not think or talk about what's to come, because it is awesome to imagine and anticipate, but what if we took our focus off so much of what, when, and how it all takes place, and look more toward what we can do while we are here to ensure we are serving others as we are called to through Christ? Imagine if we took all the time and energy we spend "not being able to wait for Heaven," and put even half of it toward sharing our lives with the people who need it most, the people that all of us see almost every day. If we were all, as believers, to focus on being the servants to the world that Jesus came and showed us how to be, how different would the world look now? Don't misunderstand me, I'm excited about getting to Heaven at some point and worshipping in the actual physical presence of God for eternity, but I have an eternity to focus on that when I get there. I only have this brief moment of life to live out what I'm called to, and if I keep my focus on the important things, when I step into eternity I can look forward to meeting Jesus and hearing him say "well done my good and faithful servant; enter into the joy of your salvation!"

How beautiful the cross of Jesus

John 1:12-13

"Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God - children born not of natural decent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God."

The question this verse makes me ask myself is "do I live every day as though I have been given the right to become a child of God, being BORN OF GOD? The short answer is "no". But, why? Why do I not realize that every day is not to be taken for granted, not to be used for my desires and my accomplishments and accolades, but is to be used to live as though I know, that I really know, I am born of God. I think that the meaning of "born of God" gets lost in everyday life. We unfortunately forget what being a part of Christ's crucified body is like. We forget that being dead in our sins makes us alive in Christ, just as the baptism of faith symbolizes in front of our churches as not only a statement of faith, but also as a symbol of commitment that the old is dead and buried with Jesus, and the new has arisen from what used to be our lives lived for ourselves. We have taken an oath of insincerity. Another word for it, and it is a strong word that we also have abandoned in our comfortable salvation experiences, is hypocrisy. Now, please don't assume that I am saying all people who get baptized are hypocrites, because I am not insinuating that idea. I am saying that for a large number of us who call ourselves "Christians" (meaning that we live a life that is manifesting the qualities or spirit of Jesus himself, in other words: Christlike), have taken the object allowing our adoption into the family of God, the instrument of death used to lead to the salvation of God's people, and we relegate it to something on the level of wallpaper or a flower arrangement on a table. Churches adorn their walls, steeples, bell towers, and choir robes with this cross, and while that's not inherently wrong, we as Christians have become comfortable with the cross. We have taken the centerpiece of our faith and beautified our homes, necklaces, ears, walls, and rear-view mirrors with this symbol, and somewhere in the mix forgotten why we put them there in the first place. When I was in high school, I had a cross necklace made from three nails and some wire that I hung from my rearview mirror in my car. Initially I hung it there to remind me that as I was on my way to school, I had a life to live that emulated the life of Christ, I had a reminder on my way to school, my mission ground at the time, that I was a believer in Christ and I needed to show that to my school. For the first few days, hopefully weeks, I remembered what that symbolized: a life worth living is a life worth dying for. Unfortunately I got used to the necklace swinging there as I hurried to school and probably drove too fast because I was running late sometimes. Emulating Christ, of course, right? Wrong...I didn't completely forget. I was wearing my cleverly worded "Christian" t-shirt that manipulated some regular, everyday slogan that secular America used to advertise its products. As strange as it may sound, this seems directly contrary to one of the first memory verses I ever learned: "do not conform any longer to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve of what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will." (Romans 12:2, NIV) I ask myself now, how could I have believed that I wasn't conforming to the world when I was wearing a shirt that at first glance would be mistaken for something else? We get comfortable in our faith, relegate the foundation of our faith as a common decoration, and forget that the cross was used for something extraordinary, for the salvation of the world. While I do not have a problem with people using crosses in their homes or churches decorating the walls, steeples, bell towers, and choir robes with the cross, for it is a beautiful sight to behold. The problem comes when we forget what the cross stands for. It stands for our beautiful Christ, it should serve as a reminder each morning when we see our cross dangling from the rearview mirror that we are fully a part of God's family, born into it by the spirit which resides in our lives after we accept the sacrifice Jesus Christ made on that beautiful, rugged cross. It is a reminder that a life worth living is a life worth dying for, both physically and daily in our spiritual lives. How beautiful the cross of our Wonderful Savior, Jesus!

"Praise our God, for he is good"

This should be reason enough in our lives as believers for us to praise Him. We should not need blessings, signs, proof, or any other representation of God other than his goodness for us to have reason for our praise. Although it is right and good to glorify the Father for these things, it is absolutely wrong for us to wait for those reasons to praise him. His sheer goodness is reason enough to praise him for an eternity, over and over, without ceasing, because he is simply good. It is not that His goodness encompasses who God is in all respects, thus giving us reason all the more for praise, but He is good, one of the simplest of God's infinite characteristics that should be enough to elicit the most passionate of our praises. When we break down our reasons for praise, the most basic reason for praise should be that He is good. I feel that all too often we get caught up in being blessed, praising God for that (which in essence is not bad), and waiting for the next blessing as an opportunity for praise and adoration. This cycle reminds me of how a dog is trained: dog performs desired function, dog is "praised"/rewarded for the function, and eventually the dog is trained to do what the owner desires. This system of praise works when training a dog, but when applied to worshipping the creator is demeaning, belittling, downright inappropriate and worthless. God desires worshippers who praise him out of love and desire, not out of obligation and a desire for an end result. God will not be trained to give desired results as a reaction to praise. He is not a "vending machine" of blessings where you put in what you are required in hopes that your "candy bar" of blessing will fall out. Our truest and purest praise comes out not when we have just been blessed or a certain prayer has been answered, but when we realize that the goodness of God far outweighs any and all other reasons for praise. When we praise God in the midst of blessings because he is good, we begin to forget about how he gives us things, focusing less on his hands and what is in them, and we focus on who God is, and seeking his face. I have recently seen this taking place in  my life as God has continually affirmed a call on my life with sign after sign, none of which were asked for or sought out, but were given anyway. In the midst of all that, the focus wasn't placed on the cool things God was doing, but on the goodness of our Wonderful Savior. Praise our God, for he is GOOD!

Debt of Love

Romans 13:8, 10

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law...Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."

No debt except love. Love, though a small word, embodies what it is to be a believer in Christ. For it was through the love of the Father that the Son was able to die for the sins of mankind. The days we live in would say that a father allowing a son, actually willing that his son would be born, live a life of intense purpose, and then desire his betrayal and subsequent death is absurd and crazy. How is this love? Fathers and mothers live their lives in such a way that they would lay down their lives to preserve the life of their child, especially an only child. But the love, this incomprehensible, unconditional love is bigger than what we understand love to be. We have reduced the word to describe our favorite foods, television shows, or anything else for that matter, but love is more. Which leads me to ask the question: is understanding this love a requirement to accepting it? Do we really have to understand that "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8) is a picture of the love God has for us, a picture of what seems contrary to love, but is actually a perfect representation of what Agape love looks like? Maybe understanding something isn't a prerequisite to accepting it. Maybe most people who don't accept decide not to because that picture of love seems so backwards that it seems improbably, nay non-existent, but I believe it is the mystery of this picture perfect Agape love that makes it all the more appealing. This near incomprehensible definition of true, righteous, divine love drives me on to attempt to more fully understand how this is possible, and not only that it's possible, but that it was for me to accept at no price to me...well, monetarily anyway. It drives me to the Word of God, the writings of people who actually walked the Earth with the God-Man (Jesus), who left the right hand of the Father fully knowing what would happen to him 33 years after his earthly birth: death on a criminal's cross, burial in a borrowed tomb, both of which were a direct result of God's unconditional love for people. We know Christ rose again on the third day, but let's focus on the fact that he had to die for love. Not only did he have to die, but he was tortured in unbelievably inhumane ways (the Romans were really good at bringing people near death without actually killing them). I digress because the focus isn't the brutality of his death, but the fact that God wanted to use this as a picture of his love. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life" (John 3:16). God so loved the creation that he created in his image, that he was willing to send his son on a death mission, a "kamikaze of redemption" so to speak (although kamikaze pilots weren't so fortunate as to raise from the dead). Jesus Christ, the Man-God, came here (not exactly Heaven) on a death mission of love. Pure, unadulterated, perfect LOVE! Sent by his loving Father, and it's as though he thinks this concept is easy to grasp...or does he? I don't think God wants us to hang ourselves on reason and logic, because the Gospel a lot of the time has none of either. It doesn't make sense that to "repay evil with kindness because it is like heaping burning coals on his head" (paraphrased from Romans 12:20 and Proverbs 25:21-22). The fact that we can accept that love is not rational or logical, so why would we ever think that the love in the Gospel must be understood before you can accept it? I believe that God wants us to accept the love and spend the rest of our lives seeking out his face and seeking Him through the scriptures and working everyday to find out more about this mysterious love. As more is discovered about this mystery, more should be given in an effort to personify this newly discovered portion of God's love each day as we discover it.

Starbucks always elicits deep thinking...

This is from September 15, 2006:

I was sitting at Starbucks today reading yet another book this week, and this random crazy lady comes up to me and strikes up a conversation. After this week, Im beginning to think I attract crazies because I was there earlier this week and a guy with a scruffy beard, shaved head, black sleeveless t-shirt, khaki pants, and suspenders (yes, suspenders) came up to me and asked me what I was reading, then proceeded to tell me that he was seriously running for president in 2008, and that I should visit his website. 2 days later, were back to the story about the lady. She was very intense with what she was saying, asking me if I was a democrat or a republican. She told me a story about how she was raised by a CIA agent, but she didnt know until she was about 50 or something, and then shes almost been murdered by the government several times, and the government is training these robo-cops (I dont think she meant it in a literal sense, but they have tried to arrest her many times, these robo-cops of sorts). Anyway, her urgency to tell me her story and hand me these copies of documents that would get her thrown in jail if the robo-cops knew she was passing them out kind of made me nervous, but I obliged and did the good person thing and entertained her thoughts for a bit. I tried to read some of the papers as she finished and told me to never vote for another (expletive) republican again, but I must be honest and say that I was not really that interested from the get go. I was more entertained by watching her dog lick up the stuff the person sitting at the table on the patio before me had spilled than I was at her ranting. I halfway expected some FBI agents to walk out and arrest her and myself (for having taken the documents), but thats where the excitement ends. I say all of this to tell you that this lady came to me today for a reason, and thats so Id have paper to write on when God decided to speak to me loudly again, but this time it wasnt through song lyrics (but man, he usually hits me in the face with those). So I was reading Max Lucados Six Hours One Friday, and I get to this quote in the book (from this point I will quote directly from what I wrote on the back of the secret documents):

"There is a direct correlation between the accuracy of our memory and the effectiveness of our mission. If we are not teaching people how to be saved it is perhaps because we have forgotten the tragedy of being lost," (Lucados words). "...and if were not preaching the cross, it could be that weve subconsciously decided that God forbid somehow we dont need it," (Lucado again). Perhaps the reason we as Christians are so lazy and ineffective is the fact that weve forgotten just where we came from and how we got to where we are today. To deny what has happened in our lives is to live as though nothing has changed. I have lived this ineffective lie for too long now. Ive waited for the perfect opportunities to serve God, but the perfect time never comes. He asks us to serve Him, and most importantly, to love; to love the people he created. And through this genuine selfless love that doesnt love due to a command, but loves out of loves sake and devotion to pleasing God, comes true happiness and joy for the one that loves, and as a result, people will come to know the Christ who has shown you how to love in this manner. Love, true love, is what we seek, but we wont find true love until we learn to give it and to accept it ourselves. Yes, to accept it is to learn how to give it, for we cannot give something that we ourselves will not allow ourselves to receive. How can we give true love if we havent experienced Christs true love toward us, and accepted that love from Christ, and from other followers of Christ? How pompous it is for us to expect others to accept our love if we refuse it from them. Why should they accept our gift if we refuse to accept the one God would have them lavish on us? Love, true Christ-like love, is what I wish to give. It is the only thing that will make this man happy, and its the only thing that makes perfect sense. I love all of you reading this, and all the people who chose not to read it, not because God wants me to love you, but because it brings me joy to imitate my Christ. A man is never the same after he simultaneously sees his utter despair and Christs unbending grace, (Yet another Lucado quote). To stay the same, to not give love unselfishly, is to deny that what Christ did matters, or for that matter, even happened. If you continue unchanged, then have you truly understood the full magnitude of Christ choosing to stay nailed to the cross? Have you truly understood where this narrow path leads? Examine it, true love, think about it, and devote yourself to figuring out how to love, not only because God commands it (although we shouldnt ignore Gods commands) or because I remind you to, but because you love out of loves sake, and because you want to love others. This life we choose isnt easy, neither is selfless and unconditional love work at it, and youll be surprised at just how easy it gets and how effective it really is to simply love.

So there we have it, yet another thought from inside my crazy mind. Be blessed, I truely love each of you, not because I have to, but because I'm continually learning how to want to love you all.

Losing Everything

This is from July 8, 2006:

Mat Kearney's song "Won't Back Down" really spoke to me this evening so I felt the urge to share this with everyone who cares to read what I have to say. I was listening to that song at a point in my day where I was very analytical and contemplative. I heard the lyric: "when all is lost, all is left to gain" and I was taken back for a moment. I know it doesn't sound very profound, but let me expand on the ideas and thoughts that God brought to my mind when I heard Mat Kearney passionately singing "Won't Back Down." It really speaks to who I am and who I want to be. I want to get to a place in my life where I can honestly live by the philosohpy that "when all is lost, all is left to gain," when I can say that I have lost everything for my Christ and gained everything through his grace and salvation. There are things in my life that I want, but I'd be crazy to say that I wouldn't trade every bit of success and accolades for one second of being in the presence of God. If I can truly lose everything that I have for gaining everything and becoming everything that I am meant to be in Christ, I can truly be a happy person. Not to say that I don't feel blessed to the point that I have Christ's joy coming out of me, but to say that I have given everything to him and allowed him to have full control of my life would be misleading. I'm by no means who I need to be in Christ, but I'm back to a point in my life where I want to be everything I can possibly be and I want to do everything I can possibly do to allow God to mold my being in to the image of Christ. But that requires losing myself, losing who I think I am, losing who I personally want to be, and allowing Christ to take me there. I can't do anything on my own, and this past week is a testament to that. I tried to take control of a situation that I have in my life right now, and all I gained was failure and frustration. Through this week I have learned yet another way to let go, give up control, and gain more of Christ. I can't make things happen, I have to have the faith that God has his plans in action, and all I can do is wait to see how it unfolds. So, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I say again, I give up control, I give up everything I have for one moment of peace in Christ realizing that I gain so much more than just a moment, I am gaining an eternity of bliss in Heaven with my savior and my God.

Heart-based Thinking

This is from May 9, 2006:

People often say things like follow your heart, or let your heart be your guide, but we look at ideas like that with great contempt. We think sometimes that we should be more rational, logical, and consider the things of the heart carefully and weigh them against what our minds tell us. On the contrary, I fully believe that we should step out and follow our hearts. This is a bold statement that seems to differ from what weve been taught our whole lives, but heres why I make it: throughout the Bible we find verses related to gaining control of the mind through the spirit, renewing our minds, and becoming one in spirit and mind (all are things that we must do to ourselves to tune our mind to the prompting of Christ who dwells in us, in our hearts), but the scriptures speak many times about writing the Word on our hearts and God putting His Word in our hearts that we may sin no more. Ephesians 3:17 speaks of Christ actually dwelling in our hearts through faith. Now, if Christ himself dwells in the sanctified hearts of his believers, why not trust the heart over the mind? If the Christ of our salvation is living in our hearts, and speaking in every situation, why would we listen to our self-controlled minds? Often times we associate emotions and how we feel with the heart, but I urge you to not make that connection, but to connect Godly and spiritual thoughts and emotions with that of the heart. Our emotions come from our mindset, and can be vastly altered or completely changed by how we use our minds and by the state of mind that we are in. The mind must be continually renewed and focused back on Christ daily, but the heart, the heart is given to Christ and cannot be taken from him. It may be disregarded and ignored, but it still speaks and belongs to Christ, whether we listen to its urging or not. Satan cannot speak to the heart to contaminate it, but God, through Christ speaks to us through our hearts daily to guide us according to his holy Word. I urge you yet again, listen to your heart, because Christ dwells there and desires for you to follow him, therefore, follow what your heart says and never be led astray from the pat that Christ is taking you.

FORGIVEN

This is from June 6, 2008:

I have a vision of my life. I see it as a book that, up until this point, is unfinished. I see my life being written every day in the things I do, the places I go, and the thoughts I think. I like to think of my life as a book that is in progress because it makes me feel like there’s some events that I can’t wait to experience ahead of me. I see it as a book that’s not typical to the local library, school, or even one that is being written to be different than any book ever written. I see my life, and others’ lives as well, as books that are being written and corrected at the same time. I would imagine books go through a process of being written, edited, revised, edited again, revised again, and eventually published and released. But my life-book is full of every aspect of my life, from thoughts to words to actions, even details that I’d rather have stay private or undisclosed. But a strange thing continues to happen as I write, or moreover live, this book. Each time I do wrong, each time I sin, there is a peculiar thing that takes place. I envision my life’s book having the wrongs I’ve done covered in a stamp, by God of course, which simply says, “FORGIVEN”. Each time I have lied, each time I have forgotten that I’m forgiven and don’t live like it, each time I come across a frustrating situation and say something completely out of line, it’s written, but covered by a stamp inked with Christ’s blood and each day my wrongs are covered, they are FORGIVEN. Each day the stamp wears a little, and over these 26 years to this point, the stamp has become quite ragged from the repeated uses each day. I envision the stamp, although still readable, to look like the tattoo I chose to get on my wrist. It’s still readable, but you can tell that it’s been used quite a bit. It’s been used to cover my wrongs because it speaks truth through the missing pieces from years of day in – day out usage correcting the areas of my life that shouldn’t be there. I can still make out the words underneath, because I have memory of the events, but as God looks through my life-book, he simply sees where I’ve lived righteously and he sees the FORGIVEN stamp. My tattoo represents what the message of this vision is, that my book is covered with forgiveness from the blood of my glorious Christ Jesus!

Is it ok?

This is from October 13, 2006:

Just got a text message from my great friend, Chris Fowler, and it really makes me think. It was regarding our satisfaction with God's will for our lives, and the quote was this: "is it ok with you that He knows even though you don't know?" Is it ok with you that you can be clueless as to where things are going, but God always knows where you've been, where you are, and where you're going, but you may not have a clue. For me, lately, it's been hard to settle for not knowing where I'm going, but hey, I'm getting to that place, where ever it is, and I don't even know the trail. God is leading me, and I'm going to make it there. He's got plans for me, and he knows where I'm going, but I don't have a clue where I'll be in the next few years. Isn't life grand? Run on, even though you don't necessarily know where you're going.