Losing Everything

This is from July 8, 2006:

Mat Kearney's song "Won't Back Down" really spoke to me this evening so I felt the urge to share this with everyone who cares to read what I have to say. I was listening to that song at a point in my day where I was very analytical and contemplative. I heard the lyric: "when all is lost, all is left to gain" and I was taken back for a moment. I know it doesn't sound very profound, but let me expand on the ideas and thoughts that God brought to my mind when I heard Mat Kearney passionately singing "Won't Back Down." It really speaks to who I am and who I want to be. I want to get to a place in my life where I can honestly live by the philosohpy that "when all is lost, all is left to gain," when I can say that I have lost everything for my Christ and gained everything through his grace and salvation. There are things in my life that I want, but I'd be crazy to say that I wouldn't trade every bit of success and accolades for one second of being in the presence of God. If I can truly lose everything that I have for gaining everything and becoming everything that I am meant to be in Christ, I can truly be a happy person. Not to say that I don't feel blessed to the point that I have Christ's joy coming out of me, but to say that I have given everything to him and allowed him to have full control of my life would be misleading. I'm by no means who I need to be in Christ, but I'm back to a point in my life where I want to be everything I can possibly be and I want to do everything I can possibly do to allow God to mold my being in to the image of Christ. But that requires losing myself, losing who I think I am, losing who I personally want to be, and allowing Christ to take me there. I can't do anything on my own, and this past week is a testament to that. I tried to take control of a situation that I have in my life right now, and all I gained was failure and frustration. Through this week I have learned yet another way to let go, give up control, and gain more of Christ. I can't make things happen, I have to have the faith that God has his plans in action, and all I can do is wait to see how it unfolds. So, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I say again, I give up control, I give up everything I have for one moment of peace in Christ realizing that I gain so much more than just a moment, I am gaining an eternity of bliss in Heaven with my savior and my God.